From each plinth of varied religious citadels
To the courtyards and gravel
My feet have wandered adrift.
Where are you God?
For this cannot be your home…
I want to ignite my inner spiritual flame, but where art thee, my Lord? My Krishna, Jesus, Sai, Buddha, Allah. You have so many names, myriad forms and sanctums that I do not know where is your abode.
I sit with eyes closed in rituals, reciting mumbo jumbo in ernestness and go for pilgrimages where large crowds jostle me forward, but I do not see you. The hymns of different faiths soothe but do not fulfil me. I have tied threads around totems, in dargahs but the wish to see you remains unfulfilled.
I am full of earnestness and humility, then why do you allude me?
Surely you are somewhere for I have felt you in my pain and joy. You have helped me when no one else came forward.
I murmur soft prayers under my breath even as the pandit/priest/maulvi speak out their oft repeated incantations. Dear God, can I speak to you directly?
This complicated labyrinth of charms, prayer thalis, talismans, religious calendars, fasts and their rules, particular days dedicated to particular deities, auspicious days, inauspicious days… I am confused, God. I don’t see you in any of these.
Yes, sometimes, in quietude, I say your name with my eyes closed… and I suddenly smell a whiff of your presence.
But before I know it, you are gone.
I guess, my struggle for you begins anew.
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