The key to psychological and behavioural transformation or the success of any form of therapy lies in the intention of the person to bring about change in his/her own thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Transformational wisdom dictates that a person must perceive a discrepancy between his/her current mental, emotional, physical or behavioural state (unresourceful state) and the desired mental, emotional, physical or behavioural state (resourceful state). Awareness and acknowledgement of this discrepancy in your current state and desired state is the first step for any change work. This willingness and intent to bring change to achieve the resourceful state is a necessary prerequisite to psychological and behavioural transformation.
The reason to which people attribute their unresourceful state is also key to transformation. People with an internal locus of control believe that they are in control of their own lives and hold themselves responsible for the circumstances or experiences they have in their lives. On the contrary, people with an external locus of control hold external factors accountable for their state of being. They feel that outside influences such as luck, fate, timing, other people or God are responsible for what is happening to them.
- In a strained relationship between husband and wife:
- Person with external locus of control: “My husband makes me unhappy because he doesn’t give me enough time.”
- Person with internal locus of control: “I am unhappy because of my expectations of my husband.”
- Failure to receive a promotion
- Person with external locus of control: “My boss hates me and wants to make me miserable.”
- Person with internal locus of control: “I did not work hard enough to get the promotion.”
- Being overweight
- Person with external locus of control: “I am fat because my mother in law makes me attend all these parties.”
- Person with internal locus of control: “I am fat because I can’t control how much I eat.”
Since people with an internal locus of control hold themselves responsible for their thoughts, feelings and actions, they know that they can alter their own psychological and behavioral state and achieve the desired resourceful state. They take ownership of what is happening in their lives and do not blame outside influences or other people for their condition. On the other hand, people with an external locus of control believe that change will come from changing their situation or the behaviour of the people around them. So it is important to first make them understand and realize that they have control over what is happening in their lives and that their thoughts and feelings create their reality. Once they are willing to take responsibility for their state of being, they are ready for change work.
To schedule an appointment with Psychologist & Hypnotherapist Priti Gupta, please contact her at 9871260053.